Slightly Discouraged

I was at the farm yestruday and only played with my horse for a short while on line and then rode for a few minutes and it went fairly well... the strange thing about yesturday was that my gelding was acting very strange... he was nipping at us and while we were playin with the mares he would kinda charge at them and then bite them... he even tried to mount my mare once... strange so today we tied him up cause he kinda worried me a little... Todays session started out soooo well we did some online stuff i practices my porcupine and driving properly since the clinic and she did mich better today a ways to go still but improvment is such an encouragement... I have been using my savvy string as my lead when I am playing closely with her and when we started the sideways without a fence it didn't go well I for some reason seem to really struggle with that one although when I have a fence she is fantastic... so we went to the shed and used it for a bit and practice sideways away from me and then to me... THen I went back to the 22' line and played travelling circles which was good, then some trotting circle with a change of direction which was really good, and then the leaf which was good also... but then I tried to bring her up to a canter and as soon as I asked her for it she took it but she went from left brain to rigtht brain... Not sure about that... so thenwe went to the back and i rode (oh I forgot to add I rode with one rein from the pasture to the shed which went really really well) with the hackamore and things seem to go sour from there... I am riding bareback cause I don't have a saddle and my core is a lil on the weak side and my balance and coordination up there isn't were I would like it to be so she constantly wanted to go be with the other horses... our turns are very choppy and stiff still so not sure what i need to practice more of or just the same that I am doing. then she got high headed and started acting right brain (and I was trying to get her back to left brain) and so we rode to the horses and then back to the horses and away again and thenshe spooked I lost my balance and hit the ground and she took off at a gallop... my son caught her and brought her to me and I got back on and rode around a lil more and then put her away... I definitly need to ride more and need to get a saddle I think.... oh and work out more! So yes today was a little discouraging at least the riding part but I think I have to remember that this is less than a doaen rides this summer and with no saddle and no official arena... I am using their pasture! OH, I almost forgot to add that I knew the day would come were I would get dumped (especially since I was riding bareback) I was really worried that I wouldn't have the courage to get back up... But I think that is were the cowgirl part comes in... even after trials in life we dust ourselves off and we get back up and we become stronger, smarter, and maybe even a little more confident from it. What a mighty God we serve!